


Let Them Flow

by A_F_S_M_A_S



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang Week 2021, Azulaang Chakras AU, F/M, Heartbreak, Not LOK Compliant, Not comics compliant, Past Aang/Katara (Avatar), Recovery, Show Canon Compliant, not books compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_F_S_M_A_S/pseuds/A_F_S_M_A_S
Summary: Aang has come to the Fire Nation seeking comfort from a friend in one of the most difficult moments of his life.Zuko tries to comfort a friend, but finds it's not so simple.Aang Week, Day 6Prompt: GriefThis is set in my Azulaang AU.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Let Them Flow

“Aang!” Zuko shouted, overjoyed at the sight of Appa landing in the palace courtyard with Aang and Momo aboard. A small crowd of courtiers, servants, and guards gathered on the sides to catch a glimpse of the avatar. In that moment, Zuko had forgotten the various tasks and headaches he faced as fire lord as he began stepping towards his friend. “I had no idea you were coming!”

Aang jumped down from Appa’s head and surprised Zuko when, instead of running up to hug him like normal, he gave a customary bow of his head as he placed a straight hand over his closed fist. This worried Zuko. The world knew how close the avatar and fire lord were, and neither had ever stood on ceremony with one another. Aang was smiling, but his expression was small, subdued, and an unmistakable gloom hung from his shoulders, weighing him down.

“Aang?” Zuko asked, fear building up inside of him. “Aang, is something wrong?”

Aang lifted his head, letting Zuko look into his eyes. Never before had Zuko seen him look so tired. He answered in a low, broken voice, “Katara and I separated.”

Without a word, Zuko buried his shock and threw his arms around his best friend and pulled him into a hug. Aang held him tightly, burying his face into Zuko’s shoulder.

* * *

Zuko quickly pulled Aang into a room to get him away from the peering eyes, who were doubtless talking about what grave matter would have the avatar looking so distraught. He knew in the back of his mind that he’d have to deal with them later, but for now he couldn’t bring himself to care about anyone other than Aang.

He sat Aang down on a bench. Momo snuck through the gap between them and placed himself on Aang’s lap. Zuko wished the room was bigger, so that Appa could be with the three of them. There were a dozen questions racing through his mind, and his dumbstruck tongue couldn’t form any of them. Finally, he was able to ask, “What happened?”

Aang’s response came after a silence that lasted too long. “We got into another argument.”

The answer triggered a memory that Zuko had put aside long ago. The last time he had seen either of them was last year at his wedding. Aang was his best man, and Katara was one of Mai’s bridesmaids. Everything had seemed normal with his friends in the days leading up to the ceremony, but perhaps he only thought that way because he was so caught up in the preparations and how nervous he was. Aang was his rock during that time, always telling him that everything would go as planned. On the day of the wedding when Mai first appeared in her wedding gown, Aang had to lean over and tell him, “Breathe, Sifu. I know you’re starstruck, but if you keep holding your breath like that, you’re going to pass out.”

It wasn’t until dinner, as the long line of guests who wished to pay respects to the fire lord and his new wife started to dwindle, that he had caught a hushed conversation between the two of them.

“Now? You’re doing this tonight?” Aang had asked in a subdued incredulity.

“It was just one quick conversation with Minister Daisuke, Aang,” Katara had replied, a note of exasperation in her voice. “Not even that, just an arrangement to speak further at a later time.”

“I thought we agreed on no politics tonight.”

“It’s the fire lord’s wedding, Aang. It’s a political event.”

“Not if you see it as two friends getting married.”

“I do see it that way,” she had answered with an impatience that Zuko did not expect from Katara.

“Can we please just focus on having fun tonight?”

“You’re the one making a big deal out of it.”

He could see the sigh rise and fall in Aang’s chest, which he had tried to hide by taking a drink from his cup. It was a display of annoyance that Zuko had never seen him show Katara.

Zuko had told himself later that it was probably nothing, just a minor argument a couple might have. That memory hounded at the back of his mind as he asked, “What about?”

Aang did not look him in the eye as he responded. “Nothing. We blew up over nothing. It… we got to see each other again for the first time in a month, which is almost a short absence for us. Everything was… everything was fine. We had breakfast one morning, and we were finally having a decent conversation. Then… I don’t even know. It started over something stupid and just spiraled until it got ugly. She was shouting over things I thought we had moved past, so I started shouting back. It went on until...”

Zuko put an uncertain hand on Aang’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Aang made no resistance, but Zuko could feel the tension in him that would not release. He tried to say something, but the words awkwardly caught in his throat.

“Six years,” said Aang, a deep, wounded shadow overtaking his face.

“I know,” Zuko replied, feeling inept in his attempts to find the right thing to say.

“Six years,” he repeated, his voice growing unsteady. “How… how can they just be...”

Zuko, unsure of what to say, pulled Aang into another hug.

Aang resisted the tears that wanted to flow freely.

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Mai entered his room, bidding her serving women to remain outside, and closed the door behind her. “Zuko, what’s wrong?”

It didn’t surprise him that she already knew. Few things ever escaped the fire lady’s notice. The words did not come easily to Zuko’s lips. “Aang and Katara broke up.”

Mai was too stunned to speak. Instinctively, she closed the gap between them and threw her arms around Zuko. He hugged her back tightly.

“Where is Aang now?”

“He’s visiting Shyu at the temple. He… he said he didn’t want to take up too much of my time. That he knew I was busy.”

Mai turned her head up to look at him and raised her hand to gently cup his left cheek. “How can I help?”

Zuko gave her a little smile and leaned into her touch. They had only been married for a year, but Mai had already proven many times over how invaluable she was as a partner, both in political matters and in personal ones. His smile faded as he bowed his head. “Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say. I feel like I’m coming up short. I’ve never had to be there for someone in a situation like this. He came to see me immediately after the breakup, but he’s pulling himself back, like he almost doesn’t want me to see him so hurt. I don’t know how I can help him.”

“I’ve never had to console anyone after a breakup either,” Mai admitted.

“Yeah, but you’re better with people than I am.”

Mai couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “What kind of messed up couple are we if I’m the people person?”

Zuko laughed in turn and gently took her by the wrist, turning his head to plant a kiss on her hand. Uncertainty still clawed at him, but now he had Mai on his side. With her help, he was sure that he would think of some way to help Aang.

* * *

Aang was formally announced as a guest at dinner that night to a hall filled with ministers, courtiers, and generals. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. He was dressed in his ceremonial robes and necklace, and was seated at Zuko’s left hand. The dinner had started well, until Zuko was pulled away for a matter with one of his advisers. Ursa and Mai were engaged in other conversations, while Momo and Appa were enjoying their dinner in another room. The courtiers he had expected to attempt to get a word in with the avatar were absent. All of the guests gave him his space, if only out of respect for the fire lord. He occasionally caught a few in the crowd who had been staring at him, no doubt talking about him with their neighbor. Some turned their heads the moment his eyes met theirs, while others played it off with a smile and a raised glass in his direction. He respectfully responded with a smile and a nod, but the courtesies failed to improve his mood.

With no one there to distract him, Aang was left alone in a room that suddenly seemed too loud from the myriad conversations going on at once, and too bright and too hot from all the flames lighting the room. Even the food seemed to lose its taste, not that he had much of an appetite anyway. It was all too much. Absentmindedly, he held his left hand in his right, gently rubbing it with his thumb to soothe some of the tension pricking at his skin.

It was the sudden impact of a tiny, balled up piece of paper against his wrist that brought him back. He looked in the direction it had come from to find Mai looking at him. He unfurled the paper and read her message, “Want to get out of here for a second?”

Aang gave a silent nod. Mai led him to a nearby balcony overlooking all of Caldera City and closed the screen door behind them, giving them both some much needed peace and quiet. He spoke first, taking a seat. “I’m sorry if my visit disrupted anything. I know the two of you are so busy.”

Mai sat to his right. “Only you would apologize for asking for a shoulder to cry on.” Not that Aang had taken advantage of that. As Zuko described it, he had been holding himself back, keeping his eyes dry even in private. 

Aang looked off to the horizon with a sad smile on his face. “That’s just how monks are.”

“If you were anyone else, I’d offer to go throw knives with you at a board to get your mind off of things, but that doesn't really seem up your alley.”

“Learning knife throwing from the fire lady would be pretty cool.”

“I wish my advisers felt that way. They’re always telling me that knives ‘aren't lady-like,’ that they ‘send the wrong message,’ that ‘the prefect of Shuhon doesn’t appreciate having a dart throw at his stupid-looking hat.”

Aang laughed for the first time since he arrived. “He must have said something really dumb to get a reaction like that.”

“He did. Ursa still got on my case about it and Zuko agreed with her, but I knew deep down that he was on my side over it.”

“He probably would have thrown a fireball if someone offended you.”

“Damn straight he would have,” Mai chuckled. The smile remained on her face as she told him, “Honestly, it’s amazing to see Zuko in action as the fire lord. I guess I’m a little too cynical by nature, to think that hearts and minds can be won in the way that he earns them. But he proves me wrong. I see the effect he has on people whenever I notice the way that they stare at him. Military, gentry, clergy, and especially common people. He inspires them. Of course, I can’t say any of this to his face. One compliment from me and he’d start to blush and get all lovey-dovey. It’d be embarrassing for everyone.”

“Zuko is a great fire lord,” Aang happily agreed. “The Fire Nation couldn’t ask for a better leader.”

“He does have a bad habit of taking on too much sometimes. It doesn’t happen often, but he’ll get in this headspace where he thinks that he has to do everything on his own, without support from the people who care about him. When that happens, I have to pull him back to reality, where he has a wife, a mother, an uncle, and friends who will gladly share the burden with him.”

“Zuko is a lucky man,” Aang nodded, turning away from her.

“There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help from people who care about you. You know that, right?”

Aang’s posture stiffened. “I know.”

“There is no shame in heartache.”

“Is that what you think of me, Mai?” Aang asked. “That I’m too proud?”

“I admire your selflessness, Aang, how you’re so dedicated to supporting so many people. But you should let yourself be selfish from time to time and tend to your own needs. It’s good for you.”

“I’m not sure the monks or my past lives would agree.”

“You’re your own monk and avatar. Shouldn’t that fact be what dictates your reactions?”

Aang had a smile on his face, but it was a false one. She could see the brave face he put on for others for what it was. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I’ve clearly disrupted-”

“Did Zuko ever tell you that he and I broke up?”

Aang looked at her, his melancholy completely replaced by shock. “When did this happen?”

“Well, it technically happened twice. The second was when he left to join your team. The first happened a month or so beforehand. This was during the war, after he came home from exile. The four of us were sent on a forced vacation to Ember Island. It started as little things, like impersonal gifts, acting defensive over nothing. It came to a head at a party we went to. Some meathead was hitting on me, and Zuko exploded over it. He even said I was a big blah that didn’t let herself feel anything. I got so sick of him that I broke it off.”

“Zuko really said that to you?”

Mai couldn’t help but give a breath of laughter in response. “Zuko used to chase you all over the world, and you’re surprised that he once blew up at his girlfriend?”

Aang shrugged, admitting the discrepancy in his reaction.

“Luckily for us,” she continued, “we managed to get our feelings out and into the open that night. And I mean all of it. Ty Lee talked about how she struggled to be her own person in a family where she felt she was part of a set. I spoke about my childhood, how I felt controlled, and how if I didn’t live up to expectations I was shut down. Zuko opened up about how angry he was with himself, that he didn’t think he knew what was right or wrong. Being honest with our feelings, and all the pain and baggage that go with them, was the only way for us to make up. Lo and Li told us that Ember Island had a special quality that helped people smooth out the roughest edges, and they were right.”

Aang’s response was more miserable than he intended. “Guess I should’ve taken Katara there. Not that either of us ever have that kind of time.”

Another person might have been silenced by such a response, but not Mai. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel or when to talk about it. What I will say is that you should talk to someone, that you shouldn’t keep putting this off, and that if you want to tell me anything you’ve left unsaid so far, I’m all ears.”

Aang, in an almost defensive manner, asked, “And what do you think I’m leaving unsaid?”

“A lot of things. Like how much pain you’re really in, and that you still love her.”

Aang was silent for a moment. The only sounds were those of people going about the palace like usual, the guests in the nearby hall, the distant calls of birds flying overhead. When his response came, it arrived so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him. “Always.”

Despite the infrequency of their chances to hang out, Aang knew Mai well enough that she did not frequently give out hugs or other such displays, publicly or privately. So when Mai moved across the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, he knew the significance of this act for her and allowed her to hug him, and allowed himself to hug her back.

The tears were there, still waiting to be let out, but Aang resisted them yet again.

* * *

“Avatar Aang,” Ursa greeted as they came upon each other by surprise in one of the palace’s many corridors. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Lady Ursa,” he replied with a traditional fire palm. “Sorry for sneaking up on you like that.”

“You never have to apologize. The Fire Nation is always honored by your presence.”

“You seem busy. Is everything okay?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just on my way to see Lady Mai about some matters of state. Nothing major.”

“Okay,” he said, bowing again. “I’m sorry for delaying you.”

Little did Aang know that the only matter of state that Ursa had to talk about was him.

“The court is talking,” she informed her daughter-in-law in private, dutifully but regretfully.

Mai sighed, “Of course they are.” Naturally, she wanted to brush them off, to let them take a long walk off of a short pier. Gossipers didn’t matter. What mattered was Aang. But as the fire lady, she could not ignore even the smallest of issues. “Are their lives so bereft of anything better to talk about that they fixate on Aang’s heartbreak?”

“The avatar is more than human in the eyes of the world. It doesn’t even occur to most people that they experience the same pains that they do. And you know how highly the people of the Fire Nation value strength and composure.”

Growing up as a politician’s daughter had taught her that a thousand times over. “So what should we do?”

“We have to stomp out these rumors before they spread and morph into something outrageous. Our enemies might see this as a sign of a weakness. They might try to pull something while they think the avatar is in disarray.”

Mai considered the possibility and wondered what someone might do. Ozai was secure in his new prison, the Three Flames and their followers were long dead or captured, and the last of the holdouts in the Earth Kingdom had been resolved. The world was finally getting to taste the era of love and peace that Zuko had promised on his coronation day, but the next threat to that stability could come from anywhere. “What do you recommend?” she asked.

“A public display of the bond between the avatar and the Fire Nation. Having dinner with us was a formality. A religious ceremony with Aang taking part should do the trick. We can reach out to Shyu and work something out.”

Mai didn’t hide her shock. “You want to make Aang put on a parade while he’s suffering like this?”

“It doesn’t have to be too major. He doesn’t even need to make a speech. Perhaps a memorial to honor the lives lost in the war. With such a purpose for his visit, it would explain why he arrived with such a gloomy demeanor, and would justify Zuko’s public worry and embrace.”

Mai’s fingers curled into a frustrated fist before she forcibly relaxed them. “Fine. I’ll speak with Shyu and Aang about it, but that doesn’t solve the real issue here.”

“I know,” she agreed. “I always thought that Aang and Katara made such a lovely couple. It’s heartbreaking to see him like this.”

“Aang came here for Zuko, to get comfort from a friend, but he can’t admit that to himself. He’s not letting himself be supported.”

Ursa finished the line of thought for her. “And Zuko cannot be there to support Aang so long as he has matters of state to attend to.”

Mai paused for a moment, carefully thinking out what could be done, what the two of them could do. Then, she realized that it was only the two of them that could ensure that this crisis was resolved. “We need to get them both out of the palace. They’re never going to work things out while they have so many eyes on them. While they’re here, they’re going to let the fact that they’re the avatar and fire lord get in the way. So long as that happens, Aang is never going to let himself properly grieve over what happened.

“Getting Aang some freedom will be easy enough after we do this made-up ceremony. We’ll need to work to make the opening for Zuko to escape his duties. He probably already wants to drop everything and focus solely on Aang, but his honor won’t let him abandon his responsibilities, even for a good reason. But he would if he knew we were filling in the gap. He already depends on us for so much, what would a few days of his absence be in the long run?”

Ursa bowed her head with a smile. For someone who had no love for politics or people in general, Mai had a talent for dealing with both. “Wisely spoken, fire lady.”

Mai gave a half-smile at the use of her honorific. “Still not used to that title.”

“You wear and wield it well.”

* * *

“Are you serious?” Zuko asked when they brought him their proposal.

“There’s nothing on your schedule that Mai and I cannot handle ourselves,” Ursa pointed out. “A brief leave from the capital would not arouse any suspicion.”

“Do you think Aang will go for it?”

“How hard will it be to convince a nomad to travel somewhere?” Mai quipped.

Ursa continued, “I’m sure Aang would welcome an opportunity to have another small adventure with you if you made the offer. It’ll remind him of the good old days, back when you were young.”

Zuko laughed. The good old days of their youth had been hiding from his father as they worked to end the war, yet there were still many bright spots. His smile died down as he brought himself back to the serious topic at hand. “Getting Aang alone is one thing, but how would I address this topic? If Aang-”

Mai gently cut him off. “In all the years you’ve known Aang, have you ever seen him restrain himself when he’s alone with his friends?”

“Never,” he answered. “Aang has always been honest to the utmost.”

Mai put her hand on Zuko’s arm. “Talk to him until he fully faces what he’s feeling.”

“You want me to push him until he breaks?”

“I want you to nudge him in the right direction until he reaches that point of his own accord. Make him realize that he can and should be honest with his feelings. You know the harm that a person can do to themselves when they bottle up their emotions.”

Zuko nodded. He had to admit that his wife and mother were a powerful duo when they worked together, and that their plan was better than anything he had thought of on his own. It wasn’t how he planned on spending his first time away from the palace since his honeymoon, but it was an excursion that had to be made. “Okay. Tomorrow morning, I’ll get him to go with me on a field trip.”

Mai put her hand on his. “The politics will be here waiting for you when you get back.”

“Don’t tell me that,” Zuko laughed. “I may never come back.”

* * *

“What’s going on?” Aang asked. At breakfast, Zuko, Mai, and Ursa were all missing, with assurances from servants that they had been pulled away into important matters, leaving him to eat only with Momo. It wasn’t until another servant asked him to follow her to the courtyard when he at last found Zuko, sitting atop Appa’s head. Gone were his head-piece crown and his royal robes. In their place was the kind of attire he wore when they were the teenagers of Team Avatar. He even had his old dual swords strapped to his back, along with a travel bag at his side.

“Mom and Mai said I’ve been stuck in the palace for too long. Having you and Appa around finally gives me a good chance to get away for a moment.” 

The corner of Aang’s lip curled into a smile. With a whoosh of airbending, he rose into the air and ladder at Appa’s reins. “Any destination in particular, fire lord?”

“I’m sure the avatar has a few spots that even I don’t know about.”

“You heard him, Appa. Yip-yip!”

They had to travel many miles before escaping the reaches of civilization. Appa landed in the valley of a small collection of mountains. Mountain pika-goats fled at the ten-ton mass descending on their habitat, and were encouraged to flee as Momo gave chase.

“Don’t go too far, buddy,” Aang called after him.

Appa went about grazing on patches of wildflowers as Aang led Zuko up the path. “Kuzon and I once came here. Gyatso got so mad at us for sneaking away from him.”

They came to a clearing on the mountain’s side that gave them a view of the surrounding landscape that stretched for miles. Zuko placed his swords against a flat rock and unfurled the covering of his bag, revealing a circular container with multiple compartments. The first had more than enough rice cakes for them both. He put Aang’s on the rock across from his own and took a seat.

“Don’t get a view like this in the palace,” said Zuko, taking a bite of his rice cake. “It reminds me of the good old days.”

“Which good old days? When you were chasing me?”

“I was thinking more of the days after Black Sun, but chasing you did lead me to many beautiful locations.”

Aang laughed. “Well, I’m glad you were having some fun.”

Zuko finished off his rice cake, taking the nourishment as fuel for what he was preparing himself to say. “I don’t think I ever said that I’m sorry.”

A smile remained on Aang’s face, but his expression became confused. “Sorry for what?”

Zuko stared at him for a moment, disbelieving that Aang was going to make him be explicit. “I’m sorry that this happened between you and Katara.”

Any remnant of joy in Aang faded as the realization of Zuko’s true purpose for bringing him here fell on him. “Thank you, Zuko,” he said, his voice stiffly respectful.

“Give it time, Aang. It will get better if-”

“It’s okay, Zuko. You don’t have to say anything.”

“Actually, I do.”

Aang gave him a surprised look. Zuko had come this far, and was determined to see it through to the end. “I know it hurts, Aang. I know it hurts so much that you’d prefer to shut yourself off and not let yourself feel anything. I know how tempting that instinct can be. That urge to be strong, unbreakable. To soldier on in the belief that you can only rely on yourself, that your pain, if fully exposed, will hurt the ones you care about. But it takes true strength to admit when life makes you soft, to let yourself be weak enough to ask for help from your friends.”

Aang looked away from him, taking a small bite of his rice cake. “Mai said something similar,” he relented, forcing himself to ignore a conversation had long ago on the Serpent’s Pass.

Zuko smiled. “My wife is a genius. Her intellect was bound to rub off on me sooner or later.”

Aang put his food aside. “Zuko...” he said, unable to look his friend in the eye.

Sensing the dismissal in Aang’s tone, Zuko cut him off. “You can’t keep ignoring your own feelings, Aang. You can’t keep pulling back every time someone tries to talk to you.”

“I’m not-”

“You’re my best friend, Aang. Have I ever hesitated to reach out to you when I’m unsure of myself, or if the pressures start getting to me?”

“No. You’ve always been able to rely on me.”

“And don’t you feel that you can depend on me?”

“Of course I do. That’s why I flew straight to you after...”

“So why do you keep holding back?”

Aang opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Suddenly, he felt tired. Even the sleepless nights on the flight to the Fire Nation hadn’t left him so worn down. The excuses and the assurances that he was fine that he had used as a crutch were still in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t grab a hold of them. In his exhaustion, Aang no longer had the energy to deny the obvious. He had come for help from a friend, and had spent most of his time acting like he didn’t need help. As he realized just how foolish he had been, Aang slowly dropped the wall that he had built between himself and his heart. “Six years,” he repeated.

“I know.”

“How… how can they just be… over?”

Zuko moved from his stone to the other and wrapped an arm around Aang’s shoulders. It was that touch that gave Aang the strength to finally let go. The tears came as a trickle, then a stream, and finally as a flood.

Zuko brought his other arm around Aang and held him close to his chest as the crying turned to sobbing.

**Author's Note:**

> Without acknowledgment of the pain, without allowing yourself to truly grieve, you will never heal from your injury.
> 
> As I said, this takes place in my Azulaang AU, set in the year 106 AG. The opening is actually just the beginning to chapter 2 of Waves Held Within Stone.  
> It didn't initially occur to me to use Aang Week to explore this episode of the AU, but once the idea came to me I knew I had to go through with it.  
> Little does Mai know that Azula would one day give Aang very similar advice, and that it would lead to a relationship that Mai is not going to approve of.
> 
> Speaking of whom, while I've always liked Mai and enjoyed writing scenes of her, writing this fic made me fall in love with her and what I've done with her as the fire lady. I can't wait to write more of her stuff in the present of the AU.
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Sincerely,  
> A.F.S.M.A.S.


End file.
